Change
Well, it’s (only!) been over 3 months since my last blog post. I’m quite surprised by how much my life has changed in that time. For starters, I left Chattanooga. Wait what? Ok, let’s rewind. If you followed the last blog post, you might be shocked(?) to hear about my return to Atlanta, considering I just moved out not long ago.
August, September and October, I spent the majority of my time in an apartment in Chattanooga. A mere quarter of a year later, I’m right back where I started. Well, not exactly. But the question still stands: Why?
I’ve moved back in with my parents until I find the means to fund my vagabond lifestyle by myself. The short term lease was planned. From the get go, I felt that I could easily find a job with my level of education and expertise, so I had my hopes up that I could quickly find a remote job that would allow me my financial independence. I figured I’d get a taste for life in Chatt, find a job and then move out of the apartment to a more permanent residence in the area.
Unfortunately, the tech market has not been quite what I would have expected, with respect to job prospects. As I attempt to figure out what to do with this next chapter in my life, I’ve tried allowing myself a bit of space, to figure out what I want to do. No one ever accused me of following a straight path. “Man of Leisure”, I’ve been called. But my climbing friends are all used to dirtbags. To them, I’m unique. Also known as: Pathfinder.
Perhaps my choices are to blame for my recent discontentment… No, I don’t mean that my inconsistent lifestyle is to blame per se. But think about this.. Who goes to New York to climb in November, while climbing in the South during Summer??
That’s correct. I spent most of November shiver bivying in New York, although the New York trip needs a separate post as a whole. It really did get me back into climbing and it was quite detailed of an adventure..
So on to Chattanooga
In the previous blog post, I had mentioned caving with Elliot and Wally. Wally and I had not seen each other in person for some time. While we prepared for our caving trip, I noticed that Elliot also brought along two girls, who seemed excited to join along.
One of the girls, Jenny, intrigued me and caught my attention. I didn’t know why she was there, although I assumed that if Elliot invited her caving with us, that she might be another climber staying at the Crash Pad. I didn’t think too much of it. I focused on the excitement of being reunited with my old CTR Friends. The CTR that I missed so much. The CTR with many members relocating to Chattanooga. I was one of the few. I looked forward to the prospects of hanging out with Elliot, Wally and all of my other buddies.
The trip was spontaneous and I hadn’t brought any boots or shoes to change in to. I was wearing my barefoot shoes, which were not ideal for caving. I kept sliding around in the mud and told the group I was cave skiing. Jenny thought it was funny and asked me to slide down again on camera. I attempted to slide down the mud slope again, but with little success. Still, I kept humming along. I think I even fell and slipped at some point, but that day, I don’t think a single thing could have brought me down. I didn’t have a single care in the world.
Back at the car, Jenny and I discussed our projects at Stone Fort. I had been quite focused on bouldering at that time so I agreed to meet up with her and Wally early in the morning.
We grabbed breakfast together, before heading out to the bouldering field. We climbed at Stone Fort together and kept in touch, although I expected very little to come of it.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a wonderful 4th of July weekend. But it felt so ethereal. We didn’t catch any fireworks, which was the reason I came to Chattanooga that weekend. Jenny and I ended up alone with this couple who drove in to Craven’s house, a monument close to Lookout Mtn with an overview of the city. I thought to myself, huh.. We kind of feel like a couple, as we talk to this other couple. I didn’t think much of it. I was just happy to hang out with people. I forget about the fireworks. I felt much more from being with her and I never wanted to admit it. I didn’t want that night to end. I drove up to the real overlook on Sunset Rock and I showed her the city lights. I told her about my climbing experience and how it had been a while since I had been with my friends, even if we played it off as if no time had passed.
She listened to my tale but I couldn’t tell what she thought. And I couldn’t tell you really the order of how things played out. Did I meet her and then talk to her past midnight at Sunset Rock? Did we climb the next day after I dropped her off? I think she had somewhere to be the next day but that she was fine with getting dropped off at the Crash pad late.
Eventually, Jenny reached out to me after doing her second non-commercial cave. She was really excited about the vertical cave. We eventually discussed rope climbing instead of caving. She expressed some interest in learning how to rope climb outdoors. I thought back on the purpose of the CTR. It had been a while since I had done it myself. I had been so focused on other aspects of my life… The past felt like an echo to me. But I remembered that Wally and I were always happy to teach people how to get outdoors for the first time… That much couldn’t have changed, right?
To recap, I spent September and October with the new face I met caving in August. Not only did we climb at rocktown together but Jenny